When looking for the right someone, where do you look first? Is it their eyes, figure, bank or soul?
God desires the right man or woman for you, if it’s His plan, so looking to Him is the first step. When you don’t seek God for your heart direction, is He really involved?
The godly man is one who follows the biblical direction of leadership described in I Timothy 3:1-7 “Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money’s. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he care for God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgement as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap.”
Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a wife of noble character. “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence I her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them, supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
When God prepares you for your life-mate, don’t be afraid to look for the qualities mentioned in the verses above. Although most women don’t make linens or plant vineyards nowadays, the concept is that a noble woman is respectful and independent. She does not bring disrespect to the household. Likewise, the husband is honorable and respected. God will provide a mate that brings out and expands the qualities of both people.
Many people use Ruth and Boaz as examples for a relationship. However, Mary and Joseph seem to epitomize a truer heart foundation. When Mary was approached by the Angel, she wondered how she could bear a child as she had never lain with a man. She also knew that if she was pregnant without being married, her life would be forfeit. The traditions of the land did not allow for premarital pregnancy, except if the child’s father was the woman’s betrothed. For Mary, since she was a virgin, being pregnant would have allowed Joseph to “divorce” her and she could have been stoned. Although I’m confident that Mary was scared, she trusted in God that Joseph would not take that route. Joseph may have thought of that option, but he also trusted in God. Mary’s heart was full of God’s love and she, in my mind, held deep affection and respect for Joseph. Although Joseph had every right to end the betrothal and have Mary punished, I feel that he cared deeply for Mary. This affection made a big difference. Both Mary and Joseph followed their heart direction to fulfill the prophesies of the Old Testament.
When speaking with my husband the other day, we discussed this in length. Joseph had been married before and had children. Being married to Mary would have given him a mother for them and mate for himself. We agreed that Joseph’s heart direction was focused on God. Having that focus allowed his heart to have care and compassion for Mary. This heart direction gave us the ability to follow our hearts to our Savior.
Are you still seeking the right mate and wondering when the right man or woman will come along? Don’t despair, God is preparing both of you. Place your heart direction towards Him and He will not fail. There will be heartaches and trials and hurt, but God will provide the one for you.
A little background on me. My husband and I met in 1991. We got engaged early 1992. Broke up in 1993, and married in 1997. We have been married now for over 20 years. When we broke up, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Over the years, I discovered that neither of us were ready for the relationship that God wanted us to have. Both of us had to grow in faith and be willing to submit to Christ. We’ve had our struggles and both of us have returned to our old ways at some point. However, it is only by God’s grace and divine love that we are still together. We have had to re-focus our heart directions back on God to be able to focus on the plans that He has for us.